


See the Light

by mcal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Theo's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 12:49:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20426246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcal/pseuds/mcal
Summary: The world is somehow shifted the day Theodore Nott meets and falls in love with Luna Lovegood.





	See the Light

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sing-Me-A-Rare Volume 4. Much love to my Beta and Alpha who shall remain nameless for the moment.  
Song Prompt - I See the Light - Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi - Tangled
> 
> Winner of Best Un-Happily Ever After.  
Runner up for Best Angst  
Runner up for Best Surprise Ending. 
> 
> Rated M for language, darker/war time themes, mild smut, and major character death.  
I own no part of the Harry Potter Franchise.

* * *

Luna Lovegood.

He should have known from the very beginning she would be his light, his direction, his saving grace. Resisting her inevitable pull would have been as futile as the tide attempting to resist the moon itself. 

She’d caught him completely off-guard, inviting him to join her for an exploration of the far-side of the Black Lake for what’s-it-called’s… He’d honestly had no idea what he’d agreed to, or why he’d agreed. But he had and now here they were. The night air kissed Theo’s cheeks, lifting the tufts of muddy-brown hair hanging over his brow and ears in an ethereal dance, a dance as airy and mystical as the witch he found himself outside with. 

A tingle shot down his spine, making its way back up to his chest, winding itself around his heart. He shivered reflexively, but he knew it wasn’t from the chill of the late night in early March. This was something akin to when he’d fancied Daphne last year, but far richer. Far deeper. Far more beautiful… 

“I’ve decided your problem isn’t Wrackspurts at all.” 

“What?” 

“Wrackspurts,” she repeated, voice low, lifting a shoulder in an idle shrug. “There’s been an infestation throughout the castle this year; Harry’s been most affected by it. But that’s not your problem at all.”

“It isn’t?” So what if he should have been insulted by what a near-stranger-slash-perfect-moon-goddess had just said to him? Why bother denying he had a problem? He had many troubles and very little pride left to argue over the meagre remains of his insulted family ego. 

“No. You feel trapped.” She was blinking up at him in the starlight, a silvery glow about her under the moon. Staring down at her, Theo concluded that she must be descended somehow of High Fae, she was too suddenly too pure to be of this world. She took a step closer to him. “But you’re not, you know.”

“Of course I’m _ Nott _.” His attempt to smirk fell flat under the weight of her gaze. He made a weak final attempt at humour: “That’s my family name after all.” 

Her hand floated up and amazingly enough, made soft contact with his cheek... cupping it in what he deemed the most tender of caresses he’d ever experienced. “Is this all right?” she asked and he nuzzled into her touch. 

“More than,” he gasped, wishing he was worthy to reach out and offer the same expression of physical intimacy to her... “You were saying I’m feeling trapped?”

She hummed in affirmation, nodding, and taking another step closer. “Your heritage, your father, his past, your friends—even your Hogwarts house. But you’re not bound by any of that.” Her thumb traced along the edge of his cheek and his fell shut in silent surrender as she murmured sweeter still: “You don’t have to be held forever captive to the problems that you had no say in; there’s a way out.” 

Any response he could have given fell short as she closed the space between them and pillowed his lips with hers. There was no alternate path for him now. No other course so clearly marked. There was only the destruction and ruin of everything he was, everything he’d been born to. His life was forfeit and he was doomed to live or die in the light and touch of Luna Lovegood. 

* * *

Theo’s world had turned completely upside down. He was a man who’d been parched, drowning of his own thirst until Luna introduced herself to his life. He was a free man in the light of her beaming attention as they snatched and stole every spare moment available to spend together. 

It was so perfect, it was all too easy to forget the cloud of war that loomed ahead.

Until one day, three weeks later, it wasn’t. 

Until he saw her laughing at something Potter and Granger said after dinner one evening, and he realised if he didn’t did take drastic action, it was all too possible that he’d lose her to the bloody war and the Dark Wanker behind it all. 

Just as he’d lost his mother in the first round of this tragedy. Just as he was currently losing Draco to whatever cloud of isolating madness that followed him everywhere and kept him from eating or sleeping…

But he couldn’t lose Luna, too. He _ wouldn’t _.

* * *

“Mr. Nott, I can’t see the merit in involving a student—”

“Hippogriff shite!”

Grey brows arched from over amused, fucking _ amused _, pale eyes behind half-moon spectacles. “I beg your pardon, Mr. Nott?” 

Theo squared his shoulders, chin lifting in the same defiance he’d always given his father. “I said that’s a load of hippogriff shite, _ Professor _. Potter has been involved in every manner of life-threatening situation since our first year. I heard from my father and Lucius that you were the reason the Philosopher's Stone was removed from its holding cell at Gringotts and brought to a school, and a Cerberus was procured to protect such an important gem.” 

Said eyebrows lifted even higher, and Theo fucking _ loved _ it. It fuelled the fire in his veins, giving life to his crusade. His mission to see Luna always protected, always safe, in the madness to come had just begun; this was his first obstacle. 

_ He would overcome. _

“Potter may be too thick to see it,” he drawled, idly buffing his nails against the front of his robes, “but anyone with half a brain can you’ve all but plastered a sign across the gates of Hogwarts, inviting danger every possible turn the last six years.

A silent beat. “If that is what you believe, why come for my help at all?” 

“Because you’re my Headmaster.” Theo’s voice was a silken knife, aimed and poised. His hand dropped to his lap as he blinked up. “I’m a student asking you to protect a marked student on your side. I’m even offering my services in exchange for this assistance.” 

“A valid point, Mr. Nott.” Long, wrinkled fingers drumming over the desk. “What, precisely, are you proposing to do? What do have you to offer? As far as I’m aware, you’re not involved or committed to the point that young Mr. Malfoy is.” 

Theo's heart seized. 

Dumbledore couldn’t… He _ didn’t _… 

But there was no lie in the old twat’s eyes. 

Dumbledore knew. He _ knew _. This proud prig of a human being knew about Draco’s mission when Draco had all but pushed everyone from his life because of whatever business the Dark Wanker had tasked him with over this school year. This mission that was slowly but surely claiming his soul, and splitting him in fucking two…

Fuck Dumbledore. _ Fuck all of this. _

Fists clenched, jaw tight, Theo rose slowly from his seat. The seat on the side of the desk that assigned him as a student. The one that automatically marked him as the submissive one to beg to be heard. Well, he was through with asking favours of someone who _ knew _ all about Draco’s misery and did nothing to help. 

“I’m helping your stupid Order against Voldemort by any means necessary,” he said, his tone low and dark. “I’m helping not because of any fanciful childish notion of it being the right thing, but because you lot have the power to protect your own. Luna Lovegood sided with Potter last year when she joined that student-led army named for _ you _, Professor.” His gaze narrowed as he leaned over the desk, teeth bared. “Any information, any assistance I’m able to provide, I’ll do all that’s in my power to do. But you make sure that Luna is protected.” 

“That’s not—” 

“I don’t give a damn how the details are sorted, _ sir _ .” Theo was spitting his words now. He was _ so _ beyond caring, rage still coiling and bursting through his being. A contained storm waiting to be unleashed at the hypocrisy of it all. “This is not a negotiation. I’m helping your self-righteous side, and you’re helping me in return. Luna’s a blood-traitor in the eyes of the Death Eaters and the very much returned, alive, and relentless Dark Madman you find yourself at war with. You will make protecting _ my _ witch a priority.” 

He didn’t flinch. Didn’t breathe. Not until the old blighter nodded and proffered his charred right hand to Theo. 

Theo shook it, determined to hold him, hold them all, to this bargain if it was the last thing he ever did. “Thank you, Professor.” His lips curled into a snarl as he turned with a flourish, grateful again for school robes to create a dramatic, billowing effect as one angrily exited a room. 

* * *

Days trudged on. 

March became April, which plodded into May.

And Draco almost died in May. 

Potter attacked him with an unknown curse, then stumbled away like the coward he was while the Malfoy heir almost bled to death in a bathroom. Had it not been for the swift intervention of Snape, Theo would have lost him. His brother in every way but blood, the one who’d given him his first broom and who’d covered for him when he’d landed in and destroyed Narcissa’s bed of daffodils… Draco Malfoy had been assaulted and nearly been killed by a fucking student, but Potter had gotten off the hook with detentions. 

The sodding Chosen One had been forgiven his error in judgement, won the witch, and lived to keep being the arrogant tosser he’d always been—as Draco lay recovering in a hospital bed for a week. 

Theo hated everything about this unholy and unjust world. Everything but Luna.

_ Luna. _

His ever-present, understanding, and unconditional beacon of light in the darkness was now leading him to an empty classroom, casting a Silencing charm and he bloody did _ not _ want to do this now. He could not, he _ would not _, taint their first time together with grief, anger, malice, and furious lust…

“You need an outlet, love,” she murmured, voice laced with all the kind understanding he’d come to know in this angelic witch, too pure for this hateful world. Too good for him. Too good for anyone… “I’m here to make that happen.” She said nothing more, but wasted no time in conjuring dishes and transfiguring the desks and chairs into targets. When the room was full to the brim with delicate and breakable objects, she nodded and flattened herself against the door. 

He gaped at her for a moment. At the magnificent magic she’d just displayed. At the gift she’d just given him. And that she was staying to watch him unleash his fury. 

“_ Protego _,” he murmured, his voice sharp and shrouded in shadows. “Don’t break the shield. Not until it’s safe.” He gazed at her, the muscles around his eye twitching. If she was going to be there to give silent approval to what was to happen, he’d see her safe. See to it that no harm would befall his angel. 

He turned back to the veritable feast of breakables before him, dark energy pulsing through him. Swallowing hard, he drew several steadying breaths as he lifted his arm, poised to strike. He thought once more of Luna behind him, ensconced behind his magical shield…

A spark of blue burst from his wand. A plate burst into pieces, a satisfying shattering sound ricocheted off the walls… And Theo began. Methodically and meticulously, he destroyed everything in the room, a manic thrill coursing through his being.

He held nothing back. The dark pleasure he got from watching everything shatter, piece-by-precious-piece; the twisted satisfaction he felt as the room vibrated with the sound of crashing and breaking glassware… Dark rage consumed his every spell, every last flick, swish, swoop, and swirl of his wrist. Everything was a blur of grief and anger; he’d never had the luxury of seeing the world as black-and-white as Potter and Company. He’d been born out of darkness, and been raised under its shadow… The so-called, self-appointed light had almost taken his brother from him, and there was no justice in the world—

_ SMASH! _

He flung the last plate at a floating circular target, chest heaving as the glass broke immediately upon contact, sharp shards raining from the ceiling. The target became a massive portrait of Potter with a gaudy golden frame—it exploded into flames with a raging “_ Incendio! _”

It felt good. It felt _ so _ good. 

He was fucking vindicated and there was now justice in the world because he’s just eviscerated Potter’s bloody image… 

In front of Luna. 

He turned to his witch. Saw the tears tracking down her cheeks. Tears at the state of his soul. At the rage he’d just displayed over her friend. Her friend who had almost killed his friend… 

It was too much. All too much. 

He crumpled to the ground, an animalistic howl tearing at his throat. His face fell into his hands, and he expected to hear the sound of the door opening and slamming shut behind the witch who should be running from his life…

“Oh, Theo.” Her musical coo was so soft he shouldn’t have been able to hear it over his weeping. 

He did. 

He shouldn’t have been feeling her arms wind around his shoulders, her fingers curling in his hair… 

But he did.

_ She was comforting him. _

She’d ended his shield and come to him, now pulling his face to her lap. Luna was _ here _. She was holding him as his heart bled salty tears, carding delicate fingers through his hair; murmuring things he couldn’t make out but their soothing undertone was felt in marrow. 

He loved this witch. Salazar, Theo loved her so much it was terrifying. 

When his eyes ran dry, when he’d finally felt absolved and cleansed from his emotional outburst, he lifted his head from his beloved’s lap, fearful of what he’d find in her eyes… Startled to see only love. Love and light beaming from her pale blue eyes.

“It’s all right,” she said softly. “I’ve already cleaned the mess, see? No real damage done, my love.” 

And she had. Not a shard of his tantrum remained. And she’d even already restored all the furniture to its original state. 

“I love you.” The admission flew from his mouth, instinctual and automatic; one he felt down to his magical core. She was everything, and he’d give every last knut in the family vaults to keep her safe and loving him for as long as he had breath. 

Her lips were warm and gentle against his, as if she was touching something precious. “I love you, too, Theodore Nott. Now, let’s get you to bed. You have an Arithmancy exam tomorrow, and I have one in Transfiguration.” 

A breathy chuckle escaped his lungs as they left the room, arms bound around each other’s waists. “I have a feeling you’ll have no difficulty passing with full marks, my dear.” 

* * *

May gave way to June, and if Theo had thought things were bad before… 

Everything went to hell in June. All at once one night near the end of term. Professor Snape killed Dumbledore. Draco allowed his fellow Death Eaters and a blood-thirsty werewolf into Hogwarts. He’d let them enter by way of a Vanishing Cabinet. 

Draco eventually admitted to Theo that while he’d succeeded in one part of his fucked up mission, _ he _ was supposed to have been the one to kill Dumbledore, and because he’d failed, he’d been tried and judged by the Dark Madman himself. 

The verdict: useless, disappointing, and incapable of any further assistance. The sentence: _ Cruciatus _curse, followed by hours and hours of training with the crazy aunt, to the point of physical and mental exhaustion. 

Not that Theo was at all happy with his friend’s plight, but Draco’s situation provided the perfect solution The Summer Situation. 

The Situation of Luna’s summer protection. 

Thus far, Theo hadn’t overheard any dark whispers against the Lovegood family name. Luna’s father was little more than a crazy man who self-published a peculiar periodical. Luna herself was a now sixth year who’d been all but forgotten in the shadow of Potter, Weasley and Granger. 

Theo couldn’t have been more relieved, but even so… Dumbledore’s death had posed a dilemma. Theo had no way of knowing what the old twat had passed on before he’d been killed, and without any firm confirmation, he decided it was necessary to take matters into his own hands. 

Draco’s misfortune and Nott Sr.’s preoccupation with the insipid evil schemes of the Dark Fucker proved to work to Theo’s advantage. He told his father he was spending the days with Blaise, researching various obscure and ancient magical potions. Draco and Blaise were told he’d be occupied with said research endeavours, but it could often lead to outdoor exploration, which explained why he might not be at home if either came for him at some point in the hours of daylight. 

Either no one cared enough to check in on him to validate his contradicting claims, or everyone was too caught up in their own affairs to carve out spare time for him during the day. The latter possibility at one point in time would have set him on a consuming path and downward spiral of self-deprecation and self-loathing, but nothing mattered in light of Luna and her protection. 

Luna was his salvation. His escape. His education. From seven in the morning until nightly drinks (and the occasional cigar) with Draco and Blaise at nine, Theo and Luna explored every lake and meadow in Britain. He learned a great deal more of magical beasts and beings, herbology and divination in these hours with Luna than in all six years of school combined. They also managed to talk about absolutely everything without divulging anything or coming close to topics concerning the war. She accepted him for who he was another time he chose to spend on her and with her, every time. Unquestioning, unassuming and unconditional. Life made sense with Luna. The days were an easy series of uncomplicated actions, following a holy sequence of events. 

Everything in this relationship held together within a delicate balance that neither of them broached. She never asked where he was supposed to be. He never asked about her high profile friends. They daylight was theirs to keep and nothing could taint it. 

* * *

The Dark was growing impatient. 

Echoes of harsh voices and evil cackles greeted Theo as he Floo’d home each night. Sometimes Theo would be able to avoid the bubbling simmer of the cursed cauldron of his family, his heritage.

Other nights, like tonight, the tainted potion boiled and roiled, and there was no escaping its tainted overflow. Tonight, he was flanked by Draco and Blaise, their black robes billowing in the night wind, hoods pulled high and tight over their faces. Draco wore his mask, and Theo worried for the smallest of moments his bare face would draw unwanted attention to the fact he’d yet to take the mark. 

But no one paid attention to the three students forced to bear witness to their waiting future. 

A future of roaring fires, dancing shadows, maniacal torture unleashed, and frightened Muggles being tortured to slow deaths.

Theo forced all thought from his being on nights like these. Under the cloak of anonymity and noiseless observer, Luna would remain safe. In the shades of grey within his conscience, Luna’s safety was often weighed against his silence. 

Luna won every time.

* * *

Kissing Luna was his absolution. His penance for his silence. She was his forever; the promise of unconditional love danced in her eyes, and her plush lips spoke of life when pressing against his. 

She said something clever about fairy migration, and he’d had no choice but to crash his lips to hers, backing them up to a tree. Angling his face, he cradled her neck and jaw with his left hand, brushing his thumb along her cheek. A delicate whimper slipped from her lips and he traced the edges of her lips with his tongue, his world spinning and turning as Luna’s tongue met his. 

He groaned. _ He growled _. His hand skimmed up her face only to get lost in her thick plait. 

“_ Theo… _” she breathed, digging and sinking her delicate fingers in his hair, everything else faded away. There was only Luna. 

...And doing things to her neck that resulted in those delectable sighs... Cupping her perfect bum and grinding against core to elicit such delightful moans…

He would be content to worship her skin, her soft curves, and luscious lips from now until the end of time… 

Still, something niggled at his brain. There was something he’d meant to tell her…

Her lips pressed against his cheek “...Going to miss these days when term starts.” Her warm breath shot tingling chills down his spine, but something came to focus in the haze of lust in his adolescent mind… 

“School…” He swallowed, pulling back enough to rest his forehead against hers. Another swallow. “That reminds me.” A kiss to her nose. “Snape is going to be the new headmaster, which may be bad, love.” 

A breathy sigh, followed by a gentle brushing of her lips against his. “Why can’t summer last forever?” 

“If only...” A lingering kiss to her lips, one full of lazy exploration. When they were both panting and breathless, a name came to his mind. “Lupin,” he gasped, heart racing as he cradled her face in his hands. “Professor Lupin contacted me. He says there’s a wedding coming up you and your father plan on attending, and he’ll be your protection there.” 

“Is he?” Her blue eyes beamed brightly at him, as if he were the night sky to her moon. Or the ocean waves, lost to her pull and sway. “That’s fortunate, then. Nothing to worry about at all.” 

His hands fell, only for his arms to wind around shoulders, drawing her into a strong embrace. “I hope so, love. I wish I could be there for you.” 

“Too many wards around the house,” she countered, her face shaking slightly against his chest before pulling up to meet his eyes again. “We’ll be fine. But that means there will be a day I won’t be able to see you coming up.” 

Worry clouded his thoughts. A day when he would _ not _ be with her. When he would not be able to ensure she was perfectly safe. A day when he wouldn’t be allowed to be lost in the rays of her laughter, smiles, and snogs...

“I presume you know what that means, Theo…” Her lips bent and quirked in grin, even as he shook his head. She brought an arm out from his hold, looping it around his neck, drawing him closer. “We’ll have some lost time to make up for,” she said, every bit the sultry goddess of his youthful fantasies… “And we best get started now.” 

Every ounce of anxiety dissipated as Luna closed her lips over his, and the afternoon sun melted slowly into a vibrant patchwork quilt of vivid oranges, purples, pinks, and blues. 

* * *

Something was coming, something was changing. 

Theo felt it in the air of the drunken celebration after tonight’s mission. He hadn’t been forced to attend, but something compelled him to come out to his balcony and watch the debauchery below. A wild victory laced through their drunken movements under the cloak of a moonless night. 

It was the night before the Weasley wedding and Theo’s thoughts drifted to Luna. In the safety of distance, he allowed himself to imagine what frock she’d select to wear… If she’d permit him to sneak her away from the frivolity to conjure a bed under a canopy of tree branches and limbs… 

Lost to his musings, whatever horrors unfolding below had faded away. 

He’d see Luna the day after tomorrow, and everything would be all right. 

* * *

Everything was _ not _ all right. 

Everything had gone very, _ very _ wrong in the span of a single month. 

The Ministry had fallen the day of the wedding Luna attended. 

Thoros-fucking-Nott had put Theo to work training with Draco in the weeks between of the school term. While Theo had managed to work out a system to deliver bits and pieces of intel he gathered from Malfoy Manor to Lupin, it’d felt too dangerous to contact Luna more than a handful of times. 

A month without her had been torture. His life was now split into two parts: before Luna and with Luna. A whole month without her tinkling Fae laugh, without her lips branding his skin, her touch claiming him as hers over and over again, without her goodness bubbling and spilling over for him to absorb as a parched cloth soaks water… 

Worse still was being this close to her on Platform Nine-and-three quarters and not be able to run to her and hold her. To not have the freedom to cling to her and declare to the world she was the most precious thing to have ever existed… Standing on the edge of the train platform, focusing on his breathing and appearing as aloof and nonchalant as possible, as if he were nothing more than another board seventh year who was irritated at having to return for a final year, was nothing short of an exercise in self-restraint. 

There was also the fact that there were too many people on the Hogwarts platform. Too many students and relatives clustering together; Theo had a hard time keeping an eye out for potential threats such as Yaxley or Dolohov… And, yet, as if they’d had the same thought, not nearly enough. Several half-blood and wizarding families had noticeably opted to keep their children home this year. 

Most easily noted as missing from the throng of people, though, were Potter, Weasley, and Granger. The Weaselette had spread the word her brother had contracted Spattergroit; Theo suspected Dumbledore’s manipulative hand in the trio’s absence, though. And if that were true, the old git was truly a foul person, who refused to let things go, even from the grave. 

(Not that he making any mental comparisons to another undying manipulative wanker. _ At all _…)

However, perhaps Granger had fled for safety with her parents; she would have if she were half as smart as she was supposed to be. She’d have taken them and left for the continent or America long before now—as Theo should have done with Luna. 

He should have taken her and run to France. To Spain. Italy or India. New Zealand for her to look for tangible proof of the existence of some fanciful beast or herb. Every muscle, every sinew, every fibre in his being _ screamed _ for him to charge at her now. For him to bind an arm tightly around her waist, and Apparate them as far away from this place. From this nightmare of a school year clawing to be unleashed…

All signs pointed to the year being harrowing already. 

“How many do you count, Theo?” 

Draco’s sudden appearance at his side caught him by surprise, but only momentarily. Two surprised blinks later and Theo was of sound mind enough to shove all thoughts of Luna aside and scan the bustling crowd. 

“Two so far. Yaxley and Dolohov aren’t hiding, but there could be others. I don’t know the fifth or sixth years enough to know who could be using Polyjuice Potion or not.” 

An affirming nod. “Surprised Umbitch isn’t here,” Draco scoffed, waving his wand over his trunk, clearly ready to board. 

“What? You mean actually sully herself by mingling with the lowly students such as ourselves?” Theo snorted, waving to the open carriage door. “Find us a place to sit, yeah?” 

“And just what makes you so high and mighty that I’m suddenly _ your _ lackey?” 

There was a thread of humour in Draco’s ask, but Theo was in no joking mood. His eyes had found Luna again. She’d separated herself from her friends and seemed to be looking around as well… “See you in a bit.” Theo left his trunk with Draco, beyond caring if his friend would take it or leave it as he boarded the train, if Draco boarded the train at all. 

Theo shuffled through the annoying amount of people, darting his eyes left to see where Dolohov was looking… 

Nowhere near him. Nowhere near Luna, thank Salazar. 

She was dressed far less colourful than her usual. Her shirt collar was a pale blue over a grey jumper. She’d forgone her usual flashy dangly earrings for what appeared to be simple silver studs, and she’d fashioned her long hair back into an intricate plait. 

She was a vision. And she was _ his _… 

He was halfway to her when her vivid gaze found Theo’s. 

He stopped immediately, arrested and utterly dumbstruck by her beauty. For a moment, they simply stood, blinking at each other from a distance. It wasn’t enough. He needed to be near her. Needed to hold her. Needed to hear her whisper her love in his ear. Needed to worship her with his fingers, his lips—

The edges around her mouth quirked as with the barest of smiles and his world spun on its head. A month without her beaming face, without her Light and Life reflecting for him to consume and be strengthened by…

Her fingers touched her lips and she dropped her eyes, their tangible bond dissolving, a cold emptiness blowing through Theo’s chest in the absence of Luna’s attention. 

He found his trunk and where Draco and Blaise were sitting, not entirely conscious of the conversation he half-heartedly participated in. There was something undefinable in the air, something foreboding curling and unfurling around them. The train stank of a different sort of anxiety than usual first-day jitters. The carriages pulled by hideous creatures of death jolted and bumped as they never had before. 

The castle itself seemed an oppressive Fortress of Fate, dooming them all. Theo shivered under his robes as the Sorting Hat sang its mournful song. 

Everything was unquestionably _ not _ all right, and he couldn’t be sure if it ever would be again.

* * *

He and Luna worked out a system of hiding messages in books at the library. In all the rarest and most obscure sections they could think of. There very often also appeared to not actually belong to Hogwarts, but likely came from Luna’s personal collection. 

She was a Ravenclaw Prefect and able to give him advance notice of when she’d be on duty. And he’d be waiting for her in a different empty classroom each time. 

Too short. Each moment was too short. But it was all they could risk. 

Sixth and seventh year Slytherin Prefects were told to practice Unforgivable Curses on first years as disciplinary measures; it was only a matter of time before the other houses were expected to fall in line as well. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff meal portions had been almost halved, while Slytherin’s and the new Death Eater professor’s portions almost doubled. 

For now, Ravenclaw students weren’t going hungry, but Theo had begun practicing slipping pies in the folds of his robes, in case it ever came down to him feeding Luna to keep her adequately nourished. 

Everything was dark. So very dark, as if he’d been struck blind to any meaning in life. 

N.E.W.T.’s hardly mattered enough to be prepared for. Lupin hadn’t bothered answering a message in _ forever _, and fuck the Order of the Phoenix… They all were a vulnerable and emotional lot. Far too absorbed with the question of where in the world Harry Potter had gone to care about what was happening within Hogwarts. 

Theo’s only brightness was Luna. Tracing her skin every stolen meeting to make sure no blemishes or injuries marred her creamy skin. Holding her, drinking her in, reminding himself she was real. Love and Light were real in her eyes, her murmurs, her embraces. 

She alone tethered him to believe that there was meaning in this consuming black haze. 

* * *

“Why did you do it?” 

A sigh that sounded more tired than chastised. “Harry needs the Sword. Ginny and Neville are my friends.” 

“Am I not yours to care for, too?” An unfair question, he knew that. But when he’d heard what she’d tried to do… _ Who _ could have caught her and _ what _her punishment could have been… 

Fear had knifed through him, leaving a rancid poison in its wake. 

She was in his arms now, though, her findings winding up his back and necking, carding through his hair. “It was only detention with Hagrid.” 

“_ In the Forbidden Forest _,” he hissed, his arms winding around her, crushing her to his chest as he rubbed her back to ensure she would now be properly warm. “You were lucky this time. But must you persist at trying to be as reckless as the other Gryffindors?” 

“I’ll do what needs to be done, Theo,” she admitted into this chest, and he could only sigh in defeat. She squirmed in his arms, lifting herself up to kiss his cheek. “But I’ll try to spread as much Ravenclaw wit and forethought around next time my friends want to do something heroic.” 

He could only laugh, a strangled and helpless sound, as he held her close and they kissed under a canopy of twinkling stars.

* * *

He couldn’t sleep. 

He couldn’t sleep. 

He couldn’t _ breathe _… and he couldn’t sleep. 

Luna was lying in a bed beside his chair. Lying in a_ hospital _bed, lost to the dreamless sleep of several various potions, her chest rising and falling peacefully. 

Madam Pomfrey had apparently done a thorough job. All visible wounds had been healed by the matron, the patron saint herself of Hogwarts, and Luna looked as though tonight could have been no different from any other. 

But it was. 

Tonight was different, and Theo hated himself. 

He hated that he couldn’t have stopped this. He hated that there had been a last minute change to the Prefect patrol rounds, that Luna hadn’t been able to get word to him in time for him to meet her. 

Perhaps if she had, _ this, _Luna recovering from injuries at the hand of the insidious Carrow siblings, could have been prevented. 

_ Perhaps not, though. _

The horrible thought coiled around his mind, tightening around his chest, making him gasp all the more…

Pomfrey would surely hear him over his Silencing Charm at this rate. She would see through the Disillusionment Charm if he broke down in loud sobs… 

He gasped, needing to catch his breath. His face fell in his hands, his breathing erratic, and shoulders quaking. 

He was nothing. He wasn’t even hippogriff shite, because even the great lumbering half-giant used that to fertilize his fucking pumpkin patch. Theo hadn’t been able to provide anything useful to the bloody order in weeks. His grades were mediocre, at best. He’d turned the other way as first year sobs echoed across the halls. 

But all that faded into nothingness when the Carrows had slunked into the Slytherin common room hours previous, boasting at the severe punishment of the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff prefect witches on patrol that night. He’d wanted to burst from the room then. Wanted to blow the entire dormitory to ash and rubble…

He loathed himself for finishing a game of Wizards Chess with Draco for appearances sake before excusing himself for a Dreamless sleeping potion from the infirmary. 

Fuck him for not being there to pull her into some broom closet and snog her breathless. It could have prevented this… Fuck the Carrow siblings for being cruel and stupid and _ here _. 

Fuck Snape for letting them get away this senseless cruelty. 

But most of all, fuck the sodding Order. 

The Order was supposed to be protecting her. 

They weren’t. 

They were failing. 

How much longer would he be able to stomach giving up what little information he could discover while they failed at keeping their word?

Luna stirred and turned in bed, and he forgot himself a moment and skimmed two fingers over her cheek. Then up over her hairline. She murmured something indistinctly, and his heart almost burst in his chest. 

She was safe. She was well. 

He blinked out the window, despairing that he should have to leave her soon.

The world was shrouded in fog so thick it hid the moon and stars. Cold anxiety wound around his heart, giving birth to swirling darkness in his thoughts. 

He swallowed hard. 

He couldn’t fight this alone. 

His only path through this despair fog was illuminated by the waning light of his Moon. Without her, he couldn’t see the road ahead, couldn’t know the direction he should go. Couldn’t even summon enough reason to carry on. He needed his Moon. 

He needed his Luna. 

* * *

November days bled hours, dripping and slipping away. Theo was unable to cease the flow. Time itself was his enemy. He was as driftwood: his existence meagre and insignificant (Arthur Weasley’s precise response that the infinitesimal amount of intel he’d managed to smuggle out), and his life void of meaning and purpose as he for Luna to recover enough to be on rounds again. 

Exchanging letters wasn’t enough. 

He needed her voice, her coos, and purrs. Her whispers of love. 

Food was losing its taste and appeal. He was fading away. 

* * *

“Are you real?” His voice trembled but he didn’t care. His hands shook, too, as he reached for her, cradling her face, her arms, her back; tracing every inch of her body through her uniform to feel for lingering bruises or fractures. “Are you healed?” 

“I’m all right, Theo.” Her voice was ethereal light itself, guiding him back to clarity, and she kissed his palm while reaching for his tie. “It’s been two weeks, and I’m fully recovered.” She had pressed him against a wall, and was now making quick work of all his buttons with trembling fingers…

Which he caught and still with his own, dipping his face to hers. “We don’t need to do anything, love.” A lingering kiss to her jaw. “You’re alive and _ here _.” A savouring kiss over her lips, one intent on tasting and discovering. “There’s not even a proper bed.” 

A coy smile toyed up her face as she stepped away, pulling her wand from her pocket. “It's fortunate for us then that I’m an exceptionally clever witch, isn’t it?” A bed appeared from thin air with little more than a few graceful swishes of Luna’s wand, and he gaped at her. 

“Are… are you sure?” 

She aimed the wand at herself, muttering a few spells he’d only heard when having ‘the talk’. She toed off her shoes and pulled her jumper over her head, leaving her gloriously perfect in only a shirt, a skirt and knee-high socks…

And whatever treasure was hidden underneath… 

“Kiss me.” Her eyes darted from the bed to him, and she licked her lips. “Kiss me and love me. Please.” 

He was her humble servant. Her devoted slave. Taking the time double the wards and Silencing Charms over the room, a warming spell over them before praising her every attribute as they stripped themselves bare, layer by layer. 

He lavished her with soft, creamy skin with his fingers and mouth, making the most of every moment she’d permitted him to explore her skin. He’d stretched her and relished her moans, sighs and final cry, in complete awe of this moon goddess writhing under him. 

He’d recited names in his family tree while entering her slowly, waiting until all traces of pain left her face and she’d repeated she was ready before thrusting once. Then twice. Again and again, setting a slow rhythm that spoke a language of love he’d never be able to voice aloud, not if given a hundred lifetimes to love her. 

He prayed to Merlin and Salazar they’d have all the time available after this bloody war was over. 

* * *

Theo always hated Christmas, but not this year.  
  
This year, he was getting shitefaced with Draco and Blaise at an Italian villa, leaving via International Portkey directly from the Headmaster’s Office. Sometimes, it paid to be friends with the Headmaster’s godson. 

Luna had promised to write to him to tell him when he could come to visit her. When he could hold her and love her in a union that transcended all words. When she could ravish him like she’d teased with a book she’d been reading, something called _ Karma Sutra _... 

Until then, he had his mates and an endless supply of alcohol. 

* * *

She hadn’t written. 

He’d waited and waited, but still, she hadn’t written. 

He’d made up some nonsense to Draco and Blaise about needing to get home and see his mother’s grave before term began, which he most certainly needed to do, and did… 

But he needed to know why Luna hadn’t written. She wasn’t at any of the spots they’d visited over the summer… He needed answers from the bloody Order. 

But they proved useless and disappointing once again. 

Frustrating silence was his only constant in the days leading up to the new term. 

* * *

_ T, _

_ Luna taken from the Hogwarts Express on her way home for Christmas. _

_ No word of her whereabouts. _

_ Do not write again. _

_ Danger too great. _

_ AW _

* * *

“What do you mean we don’t know where they are?!” 

“I don’t know where they are, Theo.” 

Theo was incredulous. He was seeing red, and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “She’s _gone_, Draco! Do you understand that? Vanished. Taken from the bloody_ Hogwarts_ _Express_ five days before Christmas.” He waved his arms about furiously, and he didn’t buggering care if he looked like a squawking bird right now. “The damned Dark Lord himself lives in your house, and you’re telling me you know sod all?!” 

Draco blinked, his face flat and passive. “That’s right, Theo.” He stared unblinking at his friend. “I only went home the last night before school. I took breakfast in my room that morning to keep out of the way, and kissed Mother before making my way to the platform.” 

No. 

No. 

_ Nononononononono… _

If Draco knew absolutely nothing, and fucker Arthur continued his present course of ignoring Theo’s owls… 

“_ Fuck!” _he yelled, snatching his wand, aiming for the beds, shattering all three beds in the room in less than two heartbeats. 

Draco yelped and landed two punches across his jaw. 

Theo snarled, dropping his wand, baring his teeth, and curling his fingers into a fist… 

But his eyes met Draco’s, and every destructive instinct faded away. Theo crumpled to the floor, his forehead pressing against wood chips and stone. He cried as he had when Draco had been in the hospital. He cried for how senseless his life was. He cried for how selfish he’d been to leave her alone, and take a portkey directly from school to his momentary escape. 

He cried for how lost and alone he would now be without his guiding Light.  
Without his Moon… 

A crunching sound and a hand over his shoulder. He forced his tear ducts dry, lifting up and swiping at his nose like a fucking child. 

Draco didn’t ask any questions. Theo didn’t offer any explanations. 

“She’s gone, Draco.” 

“I’m sorry, mate.” 

* * *

_ Theo, _

_ I’m so sorry I left you and couldn’t write to you. I was taken, but we’ve escaped and I’m safe now. Don’t come looking for me. Look out for yourself, stay safe and well. _

_ I’m thinking of you and loving you every moment of the day. _

_ We’ll be together soon. _

_ Your Moon _

* * *

Alive. 

_ Alive. _

She was alive! 

The battle was over. Potter was dead, and the Dark Madman was a gloating conqueror over killing a child, at long last, but none of that mattered. 

Because Theo saw Luna across the courtyard, and she was _ alive _. 

Dusty, bleeding, and battleworn, but alive! 

He’d told himself earlier it had only been tricks of his mind when he thought he’d seen her wispy form darting up a flight of stairs, but he hadn’t been, and he needed to reach her. Now. He needed to snatch her away from this ruin and decay. He needed to claim her as his and vanish them to his supply of emergency Portkeys hidden in his dresser at Nott Manor… 

And then several things happened all at once. Screams, shouts, and an enraged yell. Sparks of blue, red, violet, and green burst from wands, and the battle began anew. 

Theo didn’t care. 

He didn’t care about any of it. 

He lunged forward, rushing and running as fast as his legs could carry him. “_ Luna!” _ He was a man possessed, calling out to her hoarsely, dust and ash clinging to his lungs. “Luna! Luna, love!” 

She didn’t turn. She couldn’t hear him above the noise of war. And she was too busy being fighting off spells. 

Theo dug into his last reserves, sprinting through the throng of chaos now. He needed to get to her… Needed to reach her… To stand by her and fight with her before getting her out of here… 

A figure in black stepped into view… 

A flash of green… 

Theo slid to a halt… 

The figure moved, and Theo couldn’t see Luna. 

He couldn’t see her where she should be standing. 

His eyes darted lower before he could stop them. Before he could unsee what he didn’t want to see… 

His beloved Luna Lovegood prone and unmoving amongst the rubble of the courtyard. 

* * *

He heard nothing. 

He stopped at nothing. 

He made sure nothing stood in his way from getting to Luna now. 

Green burst from his wand, magic boiling and bursting under his skin. He meant every Unforgivable curse of death he cast to get to Luna. 

Three tall figures in black that could easily have been the one to take Luna’s life fell at the end of his wand. And an Arthur Weasley for good measure. Because he was in Theo’s way to Luna. And because he never did enough to keep Luna safe. 

He couldn’t bring himself to breath as he reached her, acting on instinct as he cradled her in his arms, and Apparated them to the Black Lake. 

* * *

It was night now, and Theo couldn’t breathe…

He cradled her face in his hands. He kissed her cheeks and lips over and over, hoping for some mercy and forgiveness in the universe…

But she was still gone. A light snuffed out before her time. 

_ His _ Moon. Taken from him. By all _ them. _

He was the sea who’d lost its tide. Its pull. The one fractal of light that shone beauty, hope, and faith in his life. 

He breathed once, new purpose flooding his veins. New Light shining through the haze of grief. 

He’d show them storms. 

He was a Nott. Son of a Death Eater. Descendant of ancient magic. 

The bastards in dark robes, Arthur Weasley, they were only the beginning. He’d come for them _ all _. He would lure, then churn, then rage...

Until he’d finally devour. 

He would raze the foundation of magic itself for taking Luna from him. 

Revenge was his new mission, his light, his fixed point in the universe.

Wand aimed, he cast a series of cleaning spells about himself, transfiguring his torn plebeian outfit into dark, billowing robes. He kissed Luna’s brow once more before rising from his kneeling position. Donning his hood, he stepped in the direction of the forest, movements calculated and contemplative as he decided where to go from here...

Too deep in his own thoughts to notice the fog dissipating around him while the moon shone faintly from an inky sky.  



End file.
